子供たちのユーモア

From: LEE YOUNG
Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 18: 40: 37 -0700 (PDT)

Subj: Fw: Child Humor

1. A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, " How many women can a man marry?"

" Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.

" How do you know that?"

" Easy," the little boy said. " All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

ちっちゃい男の子が生まれて初めて結婚式を見た。式が終わって、年上の従姉妹に聞かれた。

｢男の人って何人まで奥さんが許されるの？｣

｢16人だよ｣

｢えっ？ どうして分かったの？｣

｢簡単、簡単！ 司教様がおっしゃった数を足すんだよ。4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer." ｣

蛇足の成相　—　" for" を4と思いこんだ。子供は幸せ！ 

2. After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,

" Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

" That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?

" Well," said the little boy, " I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

日曜日の礼拝が終わると小さな男の子が母親に言った。

｢お母さん、ぼくは大きくなったら牧師になるの｣

｢いいわよ。でも、何で急にそんなこと言い出したのかしら？｣

｢だって、日曜日にはどうせ教会に行かなきゃならないし、こちらで黙って座って聞いているより、あの高いところから怒鳴り散らす方が面白い…｣

3. A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a Church service: " And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

6歳の子が主の祈りを唱えていました。よく聞いていると、こんな祈りを…｢わたしたちが人のゴミを許すように、わたしたちのゴミも赦し給え｣

蛇足　—　trash passes = trespasses

4. A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon." How do you know what to say?" he asked.

" Why, God tells me."

" Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

牧師が一生懸命説教を書いていた。息子がそれを見て言った。

｢説教で何を言ったらいいかどうしたら分かるの｣

｢それはね、神さまがちゃんと教えてくださる｣

｢じゃ、どうして書いた後で消したりするの？｣

5. A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, " Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

説教がなかなか終わらないので、小さな女の子は母親に言った。｢お母さん、お金を今上げたらあの人話すのを止めてくれるかも…｣

6. After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, " That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

小さなジョニーに弟の赤ちゃんが生まれた。その子に教会で洗礼を授けて貰った帰り道のことだ。車の後部座席でジョニーはずっとすすり泣くばかり。父親は心配して三度も理由を尋ねたものだ。とうとうジョニーは泣いているわけを教えた。｢あの神父様はぼくたち子供がキリスト信者の家庭で育つことを望む、って言ったじゃない。ぼくはよそのおうちになんか行きたくないよ。エーン、エーン…｣

蛇足　—　こっちまでもらい泣き…

7. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.

" The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.

" I see ... and that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus, " Terri said, " but who's the fourth person?"

" Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot." said Kyle.

日曜学校の先生が子供たちに自分の好きな聖書の場面を描くように言った。でも、カイルの絵だけはどうしても分からない。4人の人物が飛行機に乗っているのだ。で、彼女はカイルに聞いてみた。

｢これはどの場面の絵かしら｣

｢エジプトへのフライトだよ｣

｢あら、そう？ するとこれはマリア様、ヨゼフ様、幼いイエズス様ね。もう一人は誰かしら？｣

｢あ、それはポンシオ・パイロット｣

蛇足　—　flight=避難、逃避、飛行、(飛行機でどこそこ行きの)便

8. The Sunday School Teacher asks, " Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

" No sir," little Johnny replies, " I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

日曜学校で先生が聞いた。

｢ジョニー、正直に答えなさい。おうちでは食前の祈りをしてますか？｣

｢先生、ぼくは食前のお祈りなんかしなくてもいいんだよ。だって、ママは料理が上手だから…｣

9. A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, " I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, " I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: " Hallelujah! Hell is full!"

大学の演劇部がある劇を演じた。ある登場人物は｢わたしは地獄に堕ちる｣と言い、大道具係がロープを引いて開ける隠し戸から姿を消すことになっていた。この劇は好評だった。ところが、地獄に堕ちるはずだったこの役者が急病になった。代役が起用されたが、彼はかなり太っていた。｢わたしは地獄に堕ちる｣と言って、彼が隠し戸から姿を消そうとしたのだが、太っているためにどうしても通過できないのだ。観客席から声があった。｢地獄はもう満員、定員超過だって！｣

10. Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, " After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked."

デイヴ・カールトン牧師から聞いた話。｢ファースト・バプティスト教会で礼拝が終わって、落ち着かない7歳の男の子を連れた母親がどんなにして息子を大人しくさせたか…彼女は息子の方に身をかがめて、囁いた。『もし、おまえがじっとしてないと、牧師さんはどこまで話したか分からなくなって、また初めから説教をやり直すんだよ』｣