二つの質問
【質問１】 あなたの知っている女性が妊娠しているとしましょう。彼女にはすでに八人も子供が居て、そのうち三人は耳が不自由、二人は目が不自由、一人には知的障害があり、さらに彼女自身は梅毒を患っています。あなたはその女性に中絶を勧めますか？
答を見る前に、次の質問に進んでください。
【質問２】 新しい世界のリーダーを選ぶ選挙の時期がやってきました。あなたにも投票権があります。以下が三人の候補者の実態。
候補者Ａ： 不正に染まった政治家と付き合いがあり、占星術師を頼りにしており、二人の愛人を囲っていたこともある。タバコを切らしたことがなく、一日に８杯から１０杯のマーティーニをあおっている。
候補者Ｂ： 職場から追放された経験が二回。昼まで眠りこけ、大学時代にはアヘンを吸い、毎晩一リットルのウィスキーを飲む。
候補者Ｃ： 戦争で名をあげたヒーロー。菜食主義者で、タバコも吸わない。酒は、たまにビールをたしなむ程度。婚外交渉の経験もない。
【質問１＆２】 答をのぞかずに、まず自分で決めなさい。それから下へスクロールして、答を見なさい。
【回答】
候補者Ａは、フランクリン・Ｄ・ルーズベルト。
候補者Ｂは、ウィンストン・チャーチル。
候補者Ｃは、アドルフ・ヒトラー。
ところで、中絶の質問ですが、もしもあなたが、「中絶すべき」と答えたならば、はい、あなたはたったいま、ベートーベンを殺したことになります。
Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2001 11:28:33 -0500
From: "Angela" <BERNADETTE@PATHWAY.NET
Received from Scott Gray via FranCMT2.
THIS ONE IS FABULOUS!!! It was written by an 8 year old, Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God.
神様を説明するようにという宿題を与えられて、この作文を書いたのは、ダニー・ダットン、カリフォルニアのチュラ・ヴィスタに住む小学校三年生の男の子です。まあ、読んでみてください。すばらしいこと保証付きです。
神様の大事な仕事の一つは人間を造ることです。神様は、年を取って死んでしまう人間の補充として若い人間をお作りになります。それは地球にあるいろいろな物事の世話をさせるためです。神様は決して大人をお作りになることがありません。必ず赤ちゃんを造られます。それは、僕が思うに、小さくて造るのが簡単だからでしょう。そうすれば、ご自分の貴重な時間を使って、大人に話したり、歩いたりすることを教えなくてもすみます。そういうことはお父さんとお母さんに任せておけばいいのです。
神様にとって二番目に大事な仕事は人々の祈りに耳を傾けることです。なぜかというと、聖職者達がいて、あの人達は寝る前でなくても祈るからです。だから、神様にはテレビを見たり、ラジオを聞いたりする時間はありません。 神様にはだれが何を言っても聞こえるのですから、神様の耳の中にはいろいろな音や声があるのです。でも、そんなものを閉め出してしまう方法が神様にはあるのかも知れません。
神様には何でも見え、何でも聞こえます。ですから、神様はとても忙しいのです。ですから、お父さんやお母さんが何か買ってくれないときでも、神様を煩わすのは止めましょう。
無神論者というのは神様を信じない人たちのことです。チュラ・ヴィスタにそういう人はいないと思います。少なくともわたしたちの教会に来る人たちの中にそういう人はいません。
イエズス様は神様の一人子です。イエズス様は、例えば水の上を歩くとか、奇跡をするとか、神様のことを知りたくない人たちに神様のことを教えるとかなどの労働をなさいました。で、人々はとうとうそれがいやになって、イエズス様を十字架に付けてしまいました。でも、イエズス様はその御父のように優しい方でした。ですから、あの人達は自分たちが何をしているか知らないのだから、赦してくださるように祈り、御父はオーケーとおっしゃいました。
御父はイエズス様がなさったことすべてが気に入られたので、もう地上で働かなくて、天国にいてもいいとおっしゃいました。ですから、イエズス様は天国にいらっしゃいます。イエズス様は今天国で御父の助手になって、人々の祈りを聞いたり、その他神様にとって大事なことを手伝われます。自分で解決できることは自分で世話なさいます。ちょうど秘書のように…でも、もっと大事な仕事をなさいます。
わたしたちはいつでも祈ることができます。そして御父と御子はいつでもわたしたちを助けて下さいます。なぜかというとお二方の間には取り決めがあって、どちらか一方が必ず勤務中だからです。
日曜日にはいつでも教会に行かなければ行けません。なぜかというとそうすれば神様が喜ばれるからです。だれを喜ばせるよりも、わたしたちは神様を喜ばせるように勤めなければなりません。だって、神様なんですから。泳ぎに行ったりする方がもっと面白いからなんて考えて、教会をさぼってはいけません。それは間違いです。だって、お日様が暖かくなるのは正午のころからではありませんか？
無神論者でなくても、神様を信じない人は寂しい人です。なぜかと言えば、わたしたちのお父さんとお母さんは、例えば、キャンプのような所には一緒について来られないからです。でも、神様にはそれができます。神様がいつでも側にいらっしゃることを知っている人たちは幸せです。だって、暗いところで怖いときとか、大きなお兄ちゃん達が海の深いところに僕たちを投げ込んだりするときに、それを知っていると怖くないからです。
でも、…神様がわたしたちのために何をしてくれることができるか…だけ考えては行けません。神様がわたしたちをこの世に送ってくださいました。ですから、神様はいつでもわたしたちを呼ぶことがおできになります。だから、わたしは神様を信じます。
Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2001 00:35:27
-0000
From: plaws@execpc.com
Subject: Ronald
Reagan
長らく病の床にあったロナルド・レーガン元米大統領が、今度こそ最後を迎えようとしていたある日のこと。ナンシー夫人、家族のその他のメンバー、侍医も側につきっきりになった。
もう先が長いこと無いと見た家族は、彼に最後の望みが何か聞いてみた。
「そうだな。ビルとヒラリー・クリントンには死ぬ前に是非会っておきたいものだ」と彼は答えた。
思いもかけぬ答えに家族も医師もビックリした。自分たちが想像していたより、彼の記憶と判断力が衰えたと思ったものだ。でも、自分たちが言い出したことでもあり、彼らは元大統領の希望を前大統領に伝えることにした。
数時間すると前大統領夫妻が元大統領の臨終の床に駆けつけた。米軍のエア・フォース・ワンの使用が今回は特に許されたそうだ。さすが、今度のことに関してはだれからも不平の声が挙がらなかった。
クリントン夫妻はロンが臨終の床にあって、自分たちのことを思いだしてくれたことですっかり感激したものだ。でも、なぜ民主党員である自分たちがこのようにして呼ばれたか不思議でたまらなかった。過去を思えば、しばしば意見の違いで対立したものだ。そうなのに、なぜ？ そう、一体、なぜ、元大統領ジョージ・ブッシュとか現大統領G.W.ブッシュとか、ハリウッド時代の俳優友人が呼ばれなかったのだろうか？ 自分たちは一度たりとも好意的に接してもらったことはなかったのに…
たまりかねたビル・クリントンがついに聞いてみることにした。「大統領閣下、このようなな大事なときに、なぜわたしたちを招いてくださったのでしょうか？」
元大統領は最後の力を振り絞って、弱々しい声で言った。「イエズス様も死ぬときには二人の盗賊に挟まれて死んだ…わたしも同じような死に方をしたいのだ。」
Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2001 15:23:38 -0500
From: "John and Diana Newman" <newmanjd@prodigy.net
アラバマ大学で、二人の学生が化学を専攻していた。受験勉強もバッチリできて、彼らは自信満々だった。で、期末試験の二日前のこと、彼らはテネシー大学の友人達に会いに行ったものだ。何しろ、パーティーがあるというではないか！ いや、パーティーは実に楽しかった。しかし、疲れ果てて、寝坊した二人が、アラバマに帰り着いたのは試験当日の朝だった。
彼らは試験を受けるより、教授に事情を話して追試験をしてもらうことにした。で、彼らは正直に、自分たちが週末テネシーに行ったことを白状した。試験勉強のためにもう少し早く帰るはずだったが、途中でタイヤがパンクし、おまけにスペアのタイヤもあいにくなかった…そして、助けを求めようにも通りかかった車がまったくなかった…それで、遅れたのだ…などと言い訳をしたものだ。
教授は彼らの言い分を聞き、翌日の朝、試験を受けることを許した。やれやれ…二人はほっとした。さて、その夜は真面目に勉強して、翌朝、試験を受けに行った。教授は二人を別々の部屋に連れて行き、試験を受けさせた。さて、テスト用紙を二人に渡し、早速、始めるように命じた。
第一問の配点は5点。そして解答は簡単そのもの。しめた…と思い、次の問題に進んだ。第二問の配点は95点。質問は「どのタイヤだったかな？」。
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We have two tough questions for you:
Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant,
having 8 kids already, three who were deaf,
two who were blind, one mentally retarded,
and she had syphilis; would you recommend
that she have an abortion? Read the next
question before looking at the answer.
Question 2: It is time to elect a New World
leader and your vote counts. Here are the
facts about the three leading candidates:
***Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians,
and consults with astrologers. He's had two
mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks
8 to 10 martinis a day.
***Candidate B: He was kicked out of office
twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college
and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.
***Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero.
He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks
an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital
affairs.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
(Question 1 & 2:) Decide first, no peeking,
then scroll down to the bottom of the newsletter
for the answers...
Answers:
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler
And, by the way, the answer to the abortion
question... if you said
"yes", you just killed Beethoven.
EXPLANATION OF GOD
Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2001 11:28:33 -0500
From: "Angela" <BERNADETTE@PATHWAY.NET
THIS ONE IS FABULOUS!!! It was written by
an 8 year old, Danny Dutton of Chula Vista,
CA, for his third grade homework assignment.
The assignment was to explain God.
"One of God's main jobs is making people.
He makes them to replace the ones that
die, so there will be enough people to take
care of things on earth. He doesn't
make grown-ups, just babies. I think
because they are smaller and easier
to make. That way He doesn't have to
take up His valuable time teaching them to
talk and walk. He can just leave that
to mothers and fathers."
"God's second most important job is
listening to prayers. An awful lot
of this goes on, since some people, like
preachers and things, pray at times beside
bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen
to the radio or TV because of this.
Because He hears everything, there must be
a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless
He has thought of a way to turn it
off."
"God sees everything and hears everything
and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty
busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time
by going over your Mom and Dad's head
asking for something they said you couldn't
have."
"Atheists are people who don't believe
in God. I don't think there are any
in Chula Vista. At least there aren't
any who come to our church."
"Jesus is God's Son. He used to
do all the hard work like walking on
water and performing miracles and trying
to teach the people who didn't want
to learn about God. They finally got tired
of Him preaching to them and they crucified
Him. But He was good and kind, like
His Father and He told His Father that they
didn't know what they were doing and
to forgive them and God said O.K."
"His Dad (God) appreciated everything
that He had done and all His hard work
on earth so He told Him He didn't have to
go out on the road anymore. He could
stay in heaven. So He did. And now
He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers
and seeing things which are important
for God to take care of and which ones He
can take care of Himself without having
to bother God. Like a secretary, only more
important."
"You can pray anytime you want and they
are sure to help you because they got
it worked out so one of them is on duty all
the time."
"You should always go to church on Sunday
because it makes God happy, and if
there's anybody you want to make happy, it's
God. Don't skip church or do something
you think will be more fun like going
to the beach. This is wrong. And besides
the sun doesn't come out at the beach
until noon anyway."
"If you don't believe in God, besides
being an atheist, you will be very
lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere
with you, like to camp, but God can.
It is good to know He's around you when you're
scared in the dark or when you can't swim
and you get thrown into real deep water
by big kids."
"But...you shouldn't just always think
of what God can do for you. I figure
God put me here and He can take me back anytime
He pleases. And...that's why I believe
in God."
Received from Scott Gray via FranCMT2.
Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2001 00:35:27 -0000
From: plaws@execpc.com
Subject: Ronald Reagan
After many years of illness, Ronald Reagan
was very ill and it appeared that he might
not pull through. Obviously, Nancy and the
rest of the family were at his side, as well
as the family minister.
Knowing that his time might be short, they
asked if there was anything that he wanted.
"Yes," he replied, "I'd like
very much to have Bill and Hillary Clinton
at my side before I go."
They were all amazed at this request and
several assumed that his memory was failing
even worse than they had suspected. Regardless,
they went ahead and forwarded his request
to the former first family.
Within hours, the former president and first
lady arrived at his bedside, courtesy of
the loan of Air Force One. For a time, no
one said anything.
Both Bill and Hillary were touched and flattered that Ron would ask them
to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled obviously
they were of different political parties and had thrown barbs in one another's
direction over the years. Why not George Bush, Sr., G. W. Bush, or some
of Reagan's many Hollywood friends? He had never given the Clinton's any
indication that he particularly liked either of them.
Finally, Bill spoke up and asked, "Mr.
President, why did you choose the two of
us to be at your bedside at this critical
moment?"
The former president mustered up some strength
and said very weakly, "Jesus died between
two thieves ... and that's how I want to
go."
Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2001 15:23:38 -0500
From: "John and Diana Newman" <newmanjd@prodigy.net
Subject: Test
Two guys were taking chemistry at the University
of Alabama. They were so confident going into the final that two days before,
they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some
friends. They had a great time. However, they overslept and didn't
make it back to Alabama until the morning of the exam.
Rather than take the final, they found their
professor afterward to explain why they missed
the final. They told him that they
went up to the University of Tennessee for
the weekend, and had planned to come back
in time to study, but that they had
a flat tire on the way back, and didn't have
a spare, and couldn't get help for a long
time, so they were late in getting back to
campus. The professor thought this over and
told them they could make up the final on
the following day. The two guys were relieved.
They studied that night and went in the next
day for the final. The professor placed
them in separate rooms, and handed each of
them a test booklet and told them to
begin.
They looked at the first problem, which was
worth 5 points. It was something simple.
"Cool," they thought. "This
is going to be easy." They did that
problem and then turned the page. Question
#2 said: "Which tire?" (95 Points).
Date: Tue, 06 Mar 2001 16:17:09 -0700
From: Rick Felix <aztubaman@myexcel.com
Subject: [Fwd: Life (From Azame2)]
Another one from Thousaand Oaks:
Grayoaks@aol.com wrote:
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does
include a free trip around the
sun.
Birthdays are good for you: the more you
have the longer you live.
How long a minute is depends on what side
of the bathroom door you're on.
I have noticed that the people who are late
are often so much jollier than
the people who have to wait for them.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more
people happy?
Most of us go to our grave with our
music still inside of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every
day, how come nothing in the store is free
yet?
You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one
person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only
once.
Don't cry because its over; smile because
it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are
sharp, some are pretty, some are dull,
have weird names, and all are different
colors ...but they all have to learn
to live in the same box.
Everything should be made as simple as possible,
but no simpler.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy
the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't
even know you left open.
Date: Tue, 06 Mar 2001 14:16:39 -0000
From: sbatal@netcom.ca
Subject: (unknown)
I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the
black,
And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes
Both my joys and sorrows I stored
But though the gold became heavier each day
The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black
I wanted to find out why
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be."
He smiled a gentle smile at me."
"My child, they're all here with me."
I asked, "God, why give me the boxes,
Why the gold, and the black with the hole?"
"My child, the gold is for you to count
your blessings,
The black is for you to let go.