Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 19: 26: 18 +0200
From: " Cecilia" < firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Aged love
An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years, and they were still very clearly in love.
While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, " I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. " I have to tell you the truth, he said. " I forgot her name about ten years ago."
Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the Abott said, " Brother, this is a silent monastery, you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."
Brother John lived in the monastery for a full year before the Abott said to him:
" Brother John, you have been here a year now, you may speak two words."
Brother John said, "Hard Bed."
" I'm sorry to hear that" the Chief Priest said. " We will get you a better bed."
The next year, Brother John was called by the Chief Priest. " You may say another two words Brother John."
" Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Abott assured him that the food would be better in the future.
On his third anniversary at the monastery, the Chief Priest again called Brother John into his office. " Two words you may say today."
" I Quit." said Brother John.
" It is probably best." said the Abott. " All you have done since you got here is complain."
From: Rick Felix < aztubaman@m...>
Date: Sun Jan 7, 2001 4: 18am
A mine owner is looking for new guys to do some necessary jobs, so he advertised and 3 guys turned up.
One is a big muscular Irsh guy, the other is an Italian guy and the last one is Japanese.
The owner tells the irish guy that he will be in charge of the mining because he is strong, the italian will be in charge of the money and the Japanese because he is good with numbers will be in charge of the supplies.
In the next morning everybody is coming to work and someone is counting the people going into the mine... 200 people.
Everything goes well and at the end of the day they do not wanna leave anybody in the mine so they count the people who go out... 199.
They went back to look for the last one. They were looking for a few hours and then just before they were about to leave the Japanese jumped from behind the rock shouting: " SUPPLIES! SUPPLIES!"
From: Nicholas Bergstrom-Allen < cambridgeshire.boys.choir@n...>
Date: Thu Jan 11, 2001 9: 48am
Subject: IS ANYBODY UP THERE?
IS ANYBODY UP THERE?
A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped
too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation
he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the
side of the cliff. Full of fear he assessed his situation.
He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor
of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his
Full of fear, he cries out, " Help me!" But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, " Is anybody up there?"
A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."
"Who is it?"
"It's the Lord"
"Can you help me?"
"Yes, I can help."
Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"
" Let go. I will catch you."
"Is anybody else up there?"