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新ジョーク入荷!

ある老紳士がある夜親友宅で食事に招待された。

親友が妻をいたわって、事ある毎に「ハニー」「マイ・ラヴ」「ダーリング」「スウィートハート」挙げ句の果ては「パンプキン」などと妻を呼ぶではないか! この夫婦はもう70年間も結婚しているというのに、これではまるで熱烈な恋愛中ではないか!

彼は、奥さんが席を外すのを見計らって、小声で親友に言ったものだ。「こんなに長く結婚生活を送った後でも奥さんのことをあんなに呼ぶなんてすてきだと思うよ」

親友はそれを聞いて、うつむいてしまった。「正直に言うけどね…実は10年ほど前からあいつの名前をどうしても思い出せないんだ」

二つの単語

ブラザー・ジョンが「沈黙の修道院」に入会したときのことだ。

大修道院長は「沈黙を重んじるこの修道院に歓迎。ただし、わたしが命じる時以外は口をきいてはなならない」と申し渡した。

ブラザー・ジョンが丸一年修道院で過ごしたころ、大修道院長様が言った。

「ブラザー・ジョン、ここに来てもう一年経つ。今日は二言だけ話してもよろしい」

ブラザー・ジョンは言った。

「ベッド かたい」

「それは悪かった。では、もっといいベッドを支給しよう」と院長様が言った。

一年後、ブラザー・ジョンはまた院長様に呼び出された。

「ブラザー・ジョン、今年も二言だけ話してよろしい」

「ゴハン つめたい」と修道士は言い、院長は食事の改善を約束した。

このようにして三年が経過した。大修道院長はまたブラザー・ジョンを自室に呼んだ。

「今日も二言話してよろしい」

「もう やめる」と修道士は言った。

「ブラザー・ジョン、ここに来て以来、おまえは文句しか言わなかったから、それがよかろう」大修道院長様は言ったものだ。

Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 19: 26: 18 +0200
From: " Cecilia" < sapphron@libero.it>
Subject: Aged love

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years, and they were still very clearly in love.

While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, " I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names."

The old man hung his head. " I have to tell you the truth, he said. " I forgot her name about ten years ago."

TWO WORDS

Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the Abott said, " Brother, this is a silent monastery, you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother John lived in the monastery for a full year before the Abott said to him:

" Brother John, you have been here a year now, you may speak two words."

Brother John said, "Hard Bed."

" I'm sorry to hear that" the Chief Priest said. " We will get you a better bed."

The next year, Brother John was called by the Chief Priest. " You may say another two words Brother John."

" Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Abott assured him that the food would be better in the future.

On his third anniversary at the monastery, the Chief Priest again called Brother John into his office. " Two words you may say today."

" I Quit." said Brother John.

" It is probably best." said the Abott. " All you have done since you got here is complain."

SUPPLIES !

これが分かって「アハハ」と笑えた方は大したものです。そういう方は早速翻訳しておくってくださいね。 成相

From: Rick Felix    < aztubaman@m...>
Date: Sun  Jan  7,  2001  4: 18am
Subject: Miner

Edandmarystabler@a... wrote:

A mine owner is looking for new guys to do some necessary jobs, so he advertised and 3 guys turned up.

One is a big muscular Irsh guy, the other is an Italian guy and the last one is Japanese.

The owner tells the irish guy that he will be in charge of the mining because he is strong, the italian will be in charge of the money and the Japanese because he is good with numbers will be in charge of the supplies.

In the next morning everybody is coming to work and someone is counting the people going into the mine... 200 people.

Everything goes well and at the end of the day they do not wanna leave anybody in the mine so they count the people who go out... 199.

They went back to look for the last one. They were looking for a few hours and then just before they were about to leave the Japanese jumped from behind the rock shouting: " SUPPLIES! SUPPLIES!"

From: Nicholas Bergstrom-Allen    < cambridgeshire.boys.choir@n...>
Date: Thu  Jan  11,  2001  9: 48am
Subject: IS ANYBODY UP THERE?

IS ANYBODY UP THERE?

A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall.  In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.  Full of fear he assessed his situation.  He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below.  If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death.
 
Full of fear, he cries out, " Help me!" But there was no answer.  Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, " Is anybody up there?"
 
A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."
 
"Who is it?"
 
"It's the Lord"
 
"Can you help me?"
 
"Yes, I can help."
 
"Help me!"
 
"Let go."
 
Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"
 
" Let go.  I will catch you."

"Is anybody else up there?"